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You have scribed your words,
wealthy wreaths of wisdom,
on paper never torn or worn.
You have etched your passions
on my brow.

You have left this wallowed world
victorious; eyes resplendent
with the wisdom you wrote and wrought.
Your passions shall echo in my ears
unto eternity.

And should I stray into some
sullen storm, or get caught in
the torrents of the monsoon, I’ll know
that Lear’s been there before, and
I’ll not swoon.

And if Hades’ doors open up
before my stranded soul, and scorch
it with the heat of hell, I’ll recall that
I am not the first – Dante’s been down
there as well.

And if on my death-bed I mourn
the life I wasted on wine and stale
chocolate bars, I’ll recall Wilde’s words and
hope that, though long in the gutter, I did
glimpse the stars.
Last stanza - 'We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars' Oscar Wilde
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Daily Deviation

Given 2009-10-19
As our suggester notes, the lovely piece A Legacy of Wisdom by *Leurindal is a classic poem, the like of which I have not seen in quite some time. It contains masterful examples of alliteration, allusions, and internal rhyme, as well as a beautiful sense of flow, maximized by the author's line breaks. Essentially, this poem leaves me breathless, each and every time I read it. ( Suggested by GwenavhyeurAnastasia and Featured by LadyLincoln )
:iconcraazhy:
Vision: The vision of this poem is executed like the cleanest switch of a blade. When I critique literature, I try to leave room for perfect, and this was what I was waiting for.

Originality: I gave four stars because in all honesty, the way this poem is written is not original, however, it is part of the appeal how deliciously classic this poem is, so don't take it as a bad mark. And it's not blindingly unoriginal either. If it was unbearably unoriginal I definitely wouldn't have given it a whole four stars.

Technique is obviously perfect to anyone who has ever studied grammar for 3 seconds. The language of English is your tender puddy to mold into any shape your imagination asks, and more. The only words in the entire poem I had a problem with were "Dante's been down there as well" because it sort of broke the subconsious rhythm, but really it wasn't that big of a deal and I'm probably just being captious, as per usual of a good critique.

The Impact was nearly flawless save for the fact that it would take some sort of level of coherent intellegence to comprehend the impact. When it translates clearly to almost 90% of humans on the planet, that's when the impact is flawless. And I don't just mean someone pointing at big words, I mean someone who can tell me what the poem means.

But really, the Impact of this poem has emotion pouring from every synapse, extrememly powerful emotion.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
26 out of 29 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconshufflng:
To start this critique, I think I'll mention the precedence. Daily Deviation, positive critiques. I didn't even scroll to the views, comments, or favorites, all of which I'm sure have been given in plentiful quantity. It's a quality poem, there's no question. Into it:

The idea to pay homage to predecessors is longstanding. Writers often have someone else in the medium they look up to, Hunter S. Thompson was well known for thinking, "What would Horatio Alger do?" I'm sure anyone who loves to write themselves will find a way to relate to his piece, with the path identified as safely paved by respectable Gentlemen. It's easier to traverse the unknown with this knowledge. Relativity is a very important part of writing, and is done masterfully with his piece. Readers should feel like they are being spoken for, as houfh the words are being stolen from thei own mouths and reorganized into beauty at the hands of the poet. This is dine with this piece. The pace is excellent and maintained throughout each individual homage, making each of the chosen adventures with these literary giants relative through the poet. Other clever skills are easily displayed, earning the DD; alliteration, internal rhyme. The piece humbly oozes with skill. Worth every moment taken to read.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
25 out of 28 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconallsolit:
ALLsoLiT Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2013  Professional Writer
You've been invited to view my work. Here's a sample.
Reply
:iconabysmal-scribe:
abysmal-scribe Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
amazing. thoroughly enjoyed every word of every line.
Reply
:iconspace-gazer:
Space-Gazer Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2010   Writer
Beautiful...
...these are words to be remembered...

This poem is for the blind, and you would have them see.
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2010
:hug: thank you!
Reply
:iconspace-gazer:
Space-Gazer Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2010   Writer
You're very welcome, of course. :)
Reply
:iconheather-chrysalis:
Heather-Chrysalis Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2010
I absolutely love, it's so gorgeous. It has such a pure classical feel to it-and more.
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2010
thank you very much :hug:
Reply
:iconpoetrymann:
Poetrymann Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2009  Professional Writer
Congrats on a very well deserved win, my friend.
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2009
Thank you so much!!!

Your support is taken to heart. I'm much obliged :)
Reply
:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulations on your DD my newfound friend. :clap:
I hadn't yet got to this piece in my own meandering, I'm glad to have been brought here.
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2009
thank you very much! I'm grateful :)
Reply
:iconwarpstarnova:
WarpstarNova Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
wow. the suggester's words were as strong as i felt.

i am a writer, i've been for a while since my youth; i love inspiration like this. :+fav:
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2009
thanks you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :thanks:
Reply
:iconnly:
NLY Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
Gah.
Reply
:iconfanat1cal:
fANAT1CAL Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009   General Artist
Thank goodness Hades will be closed for business soon.
Reply
:iconuranus-seventhsun:
Uranus-seventhsun Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
You did the old masters homage...and then some. Usually techniques such as alliteration draws attention to the writing, instead of the message/story.
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
Thank you very much :)
Reply
:iconrennskye:
rennskye Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2009
This.... is something I find to be truly fantastic. It definitely has a very solid feel to it, a traveling emotion that it carries throughout.
It feels like rolling with the punches, like groovy without the groove and dancing without music. It's... a firm sort of soft, like cloth over wood. The way it carries reassurance with each thought - and they certainly aren't cheery - with them. The fact that you are not alone, that you are not the first to walk these paths. More so, however, I like how the last line does not carry that reassurance, but rather hope that you have managed to get something worthwhile, even if you've fallen. That feeling of down but not out.
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
wow, a lovely comment :)

Yes, it's a poem of solace, consolation, not one of bliss. Insightful :)

Thank you very much! :heart:
Reply
:iconrennskye:
rennskye Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
Ah, no worries. Lovley piece.
Reply
:iconminor-seventh:
Minor-Seventh Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2009
WOW. That is all I can say!
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
THANK YOU VERY MUCH :D
Reply
:iconminor-seventh:
Minor-Seventh Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
you're so very welcome!
:)
Reply
:iconhighgreen:
Highgreen Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2009  Student Writer
Beautiful- lovely to read.
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
thank you, glad you liked it :)
Reply
:iconboredomkillz:
boredomkillz Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2009
Best poem I've read in ages.
Thank you for writing it. :)
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
thank you for your compliment :)
Reply
:iconboredomkillz:
boredomkillz Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2009
:)
Reply
:icontimeraider:
timeraider Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
This is just delicious use of language; a joy to read again and again. I love the choice in references and the respective shifts in setting. A DD very much deserved.
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
thank you very much, John!
Reply
:iconitsacomplicatedstory:
ItsAComplicatedStory Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
~~NIZE~~
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
thank you! welcome to dA!
Reply
:iconitsacomplicatedstory:
ItsAComplicatedStory Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
~Welcome~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconeternalember:
EternalEmber Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2009  Student General Artist
I love how it connects you to the past, in a way that's like....if these people have been there, maybe it's not so bad. If that makes sense.

The last two stanzas are definitely my favorite. :)
(and I have that Wilde quote written on my wall. XD)
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
it does make sense. Thank you, Alyssa!

(Then your wall's a bearer of Truth :))
Reply
:iconavfc4me:
avfc4me Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2009
Hey! I saw the DDs, started to read the poem, and said, "Waitaminute! I know that one!"

...and I remembered who wrote it, too!

Congrats to you!
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
:)

thank you very much!
Reply
:icondiredigression:
DireDigression Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2009
:clap: Congratulations!
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
thank you! :hug:
Reply
:icondiredigression:
DireDigression Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
:hug:
Reply
:iconsepulchral-roses:
Sepulchral-Roses Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
simply amazing. beautifully written, and the last line really gives it a feel of "wow!"

well deserved DD!!
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
I'm glad you like it! Thank you very much :)
Reply
:iconxiiishades-of-grey:
XIIIshades-of-grey Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2009
I really loved this. Honestly. I won't restate the things that the critiques have said, but this is great. I love the flow of the poem, and I'm glad to have read it. *fave* :)
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
thank you very very much :)
Reply
:iconxiiishades-of-grey:
XIIIshades-of-grey Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2009
you're very welcome!
Reply
:iconleyghan:
leyghan Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I'm struggling for words to describe how much I enjoyed reading this poem. I'd like to be as eloquent in explaining its impact on me as you were in writing it but I can't, so I'll just call it beautiful and leave it that. A definite :+fav:
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
thank you. I appreciate that very much :)
Reply
:iconleyghan:
leyghan Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome. :handshake:
Reply
:iconmonkeysundles:
MonkeysUndles Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2009  Student Writer
Beautiful.....
Reply
:iconleurindal:
Leurindal Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2009
thank you :)
Reply
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